Ever gone on out with a girl and gotten the dreaded “I think we’d be better as friends” text the next day (or to your face at the end)? It’s not the desired outcome and it’s usually a shot to the ego. Yet, is there ever a time when you just don’t believe it?
When you’re in a relationship and you say you’re better as friends, that typically means you won’t ever really see the person again. Lots of times it’s because someone messed up or because you could just never make it work. Sometimes it means you still hook up with the person or are able to share a drink from time to time.
But when you go on a first date, especially these days, being “friends” means that you’re a nice person they never want to see again. And based on some my past experiences that have been written about you’d think that would be just fine. But whatever happened to people just wanting to be friends?
I had female friends in college and I still keep up communication with them relatively regularly. So why is it so weird to want to become friends because the romantic side of things didn’t work. Isn’t that what a friend is (someone you don’t fuck)? It’s like this huge double standard that completely goes unnoticed.
If I want you for sex and only that I’m a dog. I should want to be friends with you first. While that’s a valid point, it makes the “let’s be friends” quip that much more perplexing. Let’s be friends is like saying, “Not only do I not want to sleep with you, but I really don’t ever wanna see again.”
So why is this double standard perpetuated? I blame feminists (because they are easy to blame). But more so, I blame the notion that men and women can’t be friends. Outside of work and similar social groups, how else do the opposite sex meet? And what would be an appropriate pretense?