Dine and Dash

free meals

In my time as a recently single man I’ve had many ups and downs (mostly ups). I’ll chronicle many of those as I further distance myself from the less memorable encounters, but something that is very close to my heart needs to be addressed. Apparently it is well-known and generally accepted for girls to go out with no intention of a second date and rather only the intention of getting a free meal. The fuck?

Seriously, girls go out with the intention of eating good free food and then bouncing. And you know what? That shit happened to me. Now I’m the most unsuspecting motherfucker out there. I mean I’m poor (so what are you gonna get from me), I’m good looking (so why wouldn’t you want a second date?), and I just had my fiancee cheat on me shortly before our wedding (what savage cunt is going to do that to a man so shortly after?).

The most recent scenarios have involved spending a couple hundo at a place where it shouldn’t have been too much over a hundred with a goooood tip (she drank expensive wine and ate allll the food). And then there was the girl who had to spend the night because she was too drunk so I had to get a hotel (entirely different story unto itself) and then had no offers to pay. Like seriously ladies, get with the fucking program. I don’t expect you to pay, but offer to pay. At least pretend to give any fucks before I’m the overly generous one.

And the biggest problem with this new fad is that women who are well off financially and need no help getting nice dinners or free drinks still find a reason to be cheap as fuck. It’s almost as though they do this shit to piss me off because they know how big on fucking manners I am. Anyways, word to the wise boys: if you take a new chick out on a date make sure they split that check cuz they ass might never call you again.


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