A Shitty Breakfast

coffee meets bagel

Coffee Meets Bagel is just another total miss in a long line of dating apps that make you wonder why we ever try anymore. Who actually pays extra to use a dating app? Well, I guess if dudes travel and they want to canvas an area so they have options when the plane touches down it makes sense. But most guys really have nothing to gain but debt.

CMB doesn’t have any discernible characteristics that makes it stand out in any special way. There’s 21 potential matches each day and then a slew of other options (like 10) who you can use points on to make connections. But that’s it. No endless swiping. Just a stigma-free environment to meet people who are seemingly not looking for anything casual.

But I’ll be clear here, CMB is filled with two things that I’ve noticed in abundance, Asians, Jews, and women over 5’8. And I’m probably being a little generous on the height minimum, it’s probably more like 5’10. Bros better be at least 6’4 in case girls break out the “6 heels.

In summary in case you didn’t catch it: that’s tall broads, women from the far east as well as from the synagogue down the street, girls that probably played high school basketball, and a crappy choice even from those options. Bros, do yourself a favor and don’t diversify those dating apps.

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