It’s important to acknowledge that without your proposal this wedding may not have happened. However, it’s also important to acknowledge that now that it is happening that you have made the last executive decision of this process. Once you begin the process of planning the wedding your opinions are just that, but be smart about how and when you open your mouth.
This brings me to the most important part of the wedding planning, she is in charge and as long as she’s happy then you might actually get some things that you want. It’s just science, man. While it’s important to have equal rights and communication and all that bullshit, there’s just no way to do this without giving up power.
Family first. So that seems obvious, right? There’s no way you would not invite certain family members. But how about when your significant other has family member that aren’t related to her? Well, when (and if) her parents are footing the bill on this thing then you don’t really have a say, do you? Besides, those weird uncles or cousins that no one hears from for long periods of time (and happily so) usually make for good stories by the end of the night.
There’s usually two things that people remember from weddings, music and food. If those two things aren’t good then it doesn’t matter what the ambience is like or if you stay in some bad ass hotel or if the speeches make everyone laugh and cry. Because at the end of the day you had an uncooked steak and there was a handful of awkward people dancing to the DJ by the time the last dance was announced.
Besides the fact that you’re probably spending a couple hundred dollars a head to keep people liquored up, you want to make sure that whatever way they get fed (plated or buffet) they are satisfied. Sometimes that means scaling back and assuring quality over quantity and sometimes that just means giving them so much food to eat that they can’t possibly remember all the good things they ate.
The music is what starts the night (whether with a cheesy entrance or first dance) and what concludes the evening as the bar is overrun and the after parties begin. In no way can you feature music like you did in middle school in mixed CDs. There’s gotta be a flow and bro’s gotta bro. But seriously, there’s gotta be at least one song where the dudes can let loose and remember the good old days.
Most importantly, be happy for everything. Don’t make compromises even when you know you have to make sacrifices (those are different things). Make yourself happy, but remember that her happiness comes first. The sooner you let that sink in, the better you’ll be off in life.