Ball In Yo Mouth

Lavar Ball

Why does this guy think he can keep saying these ludaaa things? Maybe he’s the Kris Kardashian of the NBA. LaVar Ball is not so secretly becoming the dad-ager to Lonzo and putting out their name to get everyone talking. You could beat MJ in your heyday? He’d be better for the Warriors than Steph? UCLA didn’t win because the white guys on the team are slow?

Okay, being an outlandish asshole for ratings/publicity/potential earnings will definitely pay off. But in the short term you look like a douche bag. You don’t need to throw some innocent guys who might be your other sons’ teammates at some point under the bus.

Besides, that shit isn’t even true. Sure, they aren’t as fast as Lonzo, but who is? Well De’Aaron Fox sure is. He made your boy look like a clown. But TJ Leaf has first-round potential and Thomas Welsh has NBA scouts paying attention. And Bryce Alford might make a decent career for himself in the NBDL or somewhere in Europe.

If LaVar is so worried about his sons he’d shut the fuck up and let them do work. But he’s not. He sees the writing on the wall that most parents see when their child turns 18 or 21. He knows he’s gotta take care of #1 again. And frankly, I think that scares the shit out of him.

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