Coachella is nothing more than a dressed-up version of hipster/hippie central where people pay top dollar in hopes that they see someone famous watching someone else famous. New age festivals are overrated and overdone. There’s nothing special about seeing the same show 10 times in a year (and really way more). But what if there were a festival of awesomeness for bros? Let’s call it Brochella.
Yes, I know. It’s a name that’s been adopted for Coachella in many arenas. Some have used it to describe male-dominated acts on stage as well as a worst-case scenario of Coachella performers. But this ain’t that. This would start and end with bros (with a lot of hot chicks sprinkled in).
Because Brochella wouldn’t care what background you come from it would start with some country music and Mr. Luke Bryan. What broads don’t like the grinning crooner? Dude also is party bro enough to keep any crowd having a good time. Then you throw in the redeemed version of the Biebs and you’ve got like literally every female demographic (or at least the ones you want to fuck) covered and we just got started.
Then you gotta throw Drake up in it. He’s pretty much the raddest bro in the world right now. Why that guy would ever get in a relationship before he starts to gray is beyond me. Follow that up with another dude to come back from the depths (though not really in the form of redemption), Chris Brown continues to knock out good music and connect with bros everywhere despite his unfortunate transgressions with RiRi a few years ago.
You could probably just stop there if you wanted, but why forget about The Boss? Bruce Springsteen is seriously a dude that transcends music and time. There’s a song for everything going on currently and it’s probably from 30 years ago. With all the other obvious acts let’s say we throw in Lupe Fiasco, Kenny Chesney, J. Cole, The Rolling Stones, Justin Timberlake, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Billy Joel, Eminem, and Bruno Mars. How fucking insane would that be?