5 Things No One Uses

kim kardashian pout

It’s funny all the things that we buy thinking we will never need another version of or will use all the time to the point that it won’t matter whether there is something on the market that is better in every way. We experience this with phones, TVs, cars, and everything else that our digital/technological world consists of. So you probably don’t use any of this shit.

FaceTime. It was a wild idea when it first came out. I’m relatively certain that Skype was in full throttle before Apple made their mark with this functionality for the iPhone. Facetiming was essentially supposed to be a way to have a convo with someone in person without actually being in person. The awkwardness of voice communication was now more awkward because you could see their face. Goodbye blind dating!

And then no one used it ever again. The people I talk to on the phone don’t have time to do a face to face unless I’m actually showing them something. Then again, I can always take a picture and text it to them anyways. In theory, FaceTime is the best invention ever. In reality, it’s a waste of space and will be phased out by holograms or some crazy shit in due time.

turn signalsTurn Signals. I’m already an angry driver before I get in the car. So when I’m driving between two big cities on a daily basis and it’s early in the morning or late at night I can’t use my ESP with some fucking guy I’ve never met to know that he’s going to dart in front of me without using his blinker. Please, do something hazardous as fuck just to get a rise out of me (or kill someone).

You have to use turn signals on your drivers test, but when do you use them after? It’s the generation, cuz I’ve seen shitty drivers not using turn signals that were old as dirt. Nope. It’s just stupid people with no regard for anyone other than good old number one.

Any search engine not named Google. Seriously, when was the last time you used Ask Jeeves? Remember that shit? There’s literally search engines out there that pay you to use them (and are paid by the big companies that receive the traffic from consumers). Yahoo! used to be the big man on campus and now they can’t buy their way into relevance.

Google searchAs if Google wasn’t already the best search engine, they go ahead and add daily graphics to personalize to users. When was the last time Bing did that shit? Pretty sure MSN just shows me the news they think is relevant. What a waste. If Google’s social media platform Google+ ever gains real traction then watch out!

DVDs. There once was a time where DVD Blue Ray players were actually a big deal. You’d pay some asinine price  (like 300 and up) to get a better quality picture from the Blue Ray. All the while, you could’ve just bought an XBox or PS4 and had the damn thing with video games.

DVD VHS playerNow every movie ever is either streaming or OnDemand and available for purchase and saved on your memory for eternity. For as quick as VHS players went into extinction, DVDs are on their way out even quicker. The only DVDs I will keep are Laguna Beach and 8th and Ocean (because MTV won’t play them forever but they will never get old to me).

landlinesLandlines. Chances are you know someone who is holding on to that landline. Maybe they have graduated to high-speed cable or broadband internet, but for some reason they like having a family phone. In the off-chance that there’s bad weather and reception sucks or the towers aren’t updated and you just live in a shitty area, that landline is never gonna let you down.

Now when you call someone you know who is going to answer. Unfortunately, that means people have dick for manners (no manners) and you better want to talk to the person you call/have that particular person’s contacts. If you don’t know what landlines are go play in the sandbox with your friends, guy.


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