Stroll Along

If you’ve lived in a city for more than a few years and have a pulse, odds are you’ve seen your fair share of bar crawls and holiday-based drinking festivals. But there’s always a catch that you just never plan on.

Having the foresight to plan for bar crawls outside of getting a bunch of booze and getting fucked up as early as possible is asking a lot. All too often you get hosed by bars that charge to get in, wear bracelets, or entire areas that get blocked off. The particular area I live in blocks off whole streets and you have to walk way too far just to get home.

Then if you actually pay the ridiculous price to get inside, they don’t just give you different prices for shit that you’re not going to drink any other day of the year but they actually charge more. Drinking green beer is cool in theory, but then you just realize you just paid 50 cents per cheap beer for fucking food coloring.

Also, as St. Patrick’s Day approaches do you yourself a favor and don’t drink Irish Car Bombs. The first tastes milky and sugary and happy and warm. Then the second tastes the same. And then you wake up at 4pm the next day with someone else’s pants on in a living room on the wrong side of town.

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