Adulting: 5 Sports You Must Play

Team sports are a way to make friends and get involved when you’re in high school. They generally shape the social landscape of your life in its infancy. The very same can be said for athletics as you grow out of your early 20s.

Networking and schmoozing the fuck out of people of importance is only so easy even when you have a great personality. Having an ace up your sleeve is one of the best ways to master that thing you keep hearing about; adulting.

5b95dc477c2e5f129792eef2b326dbbbTennis. It might not be the sport that you think about wow-ing your boss and it’s not something that your superior natural abilities will conquer in days. But this is one of two active sports that you can realistically play well into your 70s or 80s and use to network the shit out of some bosses with a weak. Additionally, just think of all the hot outfits the girl you’re hanging out with will wear when playing with you. Hello short skirts/shorts/yoga pants and tank tops.

drunk-golferGolf. Another sport you can play for the rest of your life. It’s also a game that you can easily get drunk playing and still be reasonably effective. Yes, you might get a little fat and careless. But nobody is making you pay for a caddy and cart. And it’s as much, if not more, important to join a club (preferably a country club) to play. And there’s nothing that stuffy, old superiors like more than hanging out at the country club and regaling about times when they were the best at everything.

cheerleaders_00Volleyball. No one is good at volleyball except weird people and hot girls. Because who really wants to play a sport when hot girls when tiny bottoms and bounce around a bunch? I’m gonna make them move as much as possible while watching and not winning. And there’s nothing more fun on a sunny day than drinkin’ beers and watching hot girls get sweaty. Seriously, there’s people that just sit and watch that shit. It’s really creepy but I don’t not understand why they do it.

slip-and-slide-kickballKickball. Unlike tennis and golf, kickball is soft simple you really only need to be in shape and coordinated. For some people, that’s asking a whole hell of a lot. But when all you have to do is sort of stand near someone else on your team and not call for the ball, it’s really easy to be a good player. This also happens to be one of those sports where having athletic girls makes a big difference. Tennis is sort of the same because at the club level physical dominance doesn’t make as much of a difference. And girls always have pent up aggression.

624682228_549a6b471cDodgeball. It’s sad that kids in public schools aren’t allowed to play dodgeball in class anymore. But there are no real rules when adulting as long as you are awesome at life. And who doesn’t like pegging the jerk off that was trying to flirt with your girl earlier in the evening? The only better version of dodgeball is the one played with trampolines like on the most recent “professional” league. And Peter LaFleur can do it, so can you.

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