Your girlfriend (or wife, or sidechick, or fuck buddy, or girl you sleep with to convince your friends you aren’t gay) tells you to plan something for Valentine’s Day. It has to be romantic and involve some kind of thought and planning. She will know otherwise and you won’t hear the end of it because you never get her anything.
So what do you buy on Valentine’s Day? What makes any sense? Why so serious? And why this particular day? Well here’s what not to get.
- Dick in a box. Besides the fact that she thinks she can have that whenever she wants, you’d have to be pretty “special” for that to be a true gift.
- Something you re gifted that was supposed to be for another girl. If it’s already open, is out of style now, or is something too random then she’s gonna know that shit wasn’t for her originally.
- Too much chocolate or candy. Yes, you want a happy girlfriend. But you don’t want a fat one.
- Promises that you don’t intend to keep. Famous last words, dude. Don’t put yourself in a predicament that you can’t get out of.
- A gift that’s really for you.