A Bag of Dicks

This is actually a picture of guys dressing up like dickbags, which is worse.
This is actually a picture of guys dressing up like dickbags, which is worse.

Whether you’re meeting new people or making new friends or just playing nice at the bar with mutual friends, there’s a certain protocol that needs to be followed before you can get away with saying just anything. So why is it that there are people out there that think they can skip all the steps and just treat you like it doesn’t matter? What if it’s fucking squares that are doing it? That’s not realistic, right?

So for us guys, there’s a different way around indoctrinating someone into a new group. In the same way that fraternity pledges have a whole day of fun and celebration before hating life for 6 weeks, you need to be friendly before being a douchebag. For some reason, others find a need to jump into being a dickbag right off the bat.

This makes it real tough to see the strong points in someone’s personality. Everyone has likable personality traits. Maybe said traits aren’t universally acceptable, but someone somewhere likes that one little thing about you. So doing your best to not be a jerk-off is imperative in even the most simple of social situations. It also just helps to have allies when you show your true self and nobody wants to be your friend.

The simplest of things can make you instantly happy and change the course of someone else’s day. Moving from a small town to a big city I realized quickly how seldom a friendly hello made me feel present and relevant as opposed to the dude that walks by with his head down when you say, “Good morning”. I’m not saying you have to hold the door for ten minutes while the old lady takes forever to get her walker up the ramp, but act like you aren’t the spawn of Satan is a step in the right direction.

In the same way, if you think I suck and I’m a dick then you can treat me like shit as soon as I prove you right. Otherwise, you have a duty to fake a smile and not act like you’re too cool for school. Just remember, there’s always someone cooler than you. Unless you’re me.

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