Sex Toys Aplenty

spencersSpencer’s is the biggest retail joke ever. Filled with random toys and collector’s items that no one can seriously collect, how is that this place is still in business? They seriously are pulled “funny” t-shirts on websites and then just filling the rest of the store with flavored underwear and decor that looks dark. The chain used to be a alternative store that Marilyn Manson fans were more likely to walk into than ones of Britney Spears. But as time as moved on, the only people shopping at Spencer’s are high school kids looking for something racy and corny as fuck or people that want to buy a surplus of shot glasses (which is no one ever in the history of the world).

When shopping online wasn’t available convenience stores of this variety were useful to a certain extent. But as the average consumer begins to shy away from actually getting up off the couch, it becomes clear that stores with sex toys and lava lamps should be extinct. If I’m in Vegas and I want to get weird maybe I’ll step in. If I’m at the beach and I need a cheap towel then I’m in. But there’s nothing to try on or further inspect that makes this kind of place worth it. Besides, 99% of all vibrators, flesh lights, and candy-dissolving unmentionables can be had online at the click of a button.

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