I Am the Greatest!

Neither guy should be on the list but if Durant is then why not Westbrook?
Neither guy should be on the list but if Durant is then why not Westbrook?

These greatest NBA rankings by position along with the yearly rankings of every player in the league are fucking terrible. Not only are they inaccurate but they are waste of space on ESPN’s site. We get it, people like to see countdowns and have a friendly debate about who is best at what. But when you have such asinine arguments you should expect to get knocked on your ass.

So LeBron is up there with MJ and Kobe. Not saying he is better than either of (or Wilt for that matter), but he’s certainly in the discussion. Magic has gotta be in the discussion as well. Hell, George Mikan might have an outside argument. There’s just so many different guys worth mentioning. But for these purposes let’s tell you (ESPN) just how wrong you are. LeBron has not yet done enough to tell me that he has had a better career than Larry Bird. Is he the better player? Definitely. But then what’s the point in listing all of the players’ exploits and accomplishments if not to base them upon their careers? And even if James is deserving of the highest rating at the small forward position, what the fuck is Kevin Durant doing at #4? Terrible.

If you look at the power forwards, all you have to do is get barely down the page and you see Pau Gasol ranked AHEAD of Dennis Rodman? Really? Is that serious? What do they pay these fucking crooks for writing? I need a job at ESPN! Then we go further down and I see names that make sense like Charles Barkley and even Kevin Garnett (though he should probably be just outside the Top 10 if we’re honest. But then at #3 they have Dirk Nowitzki! Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Idiots. No complete sentences for you.

Apparently ESPN thinks both of them were SGs. BOTH of them.
Apparently ESPN thinks both of them were SGs. BOTH of them.

And because ESPN STILL doesn’t know how to unveil a list in descending order we see the list of shooting guards and notice that Dwyane Wade at #4. I can’t believe my eyes. I know they need to add some current players but isn’t Kobe enough? Why so high? Did Gabrielle Union complain her way all the way up there? This makes no sense. He’s very good and at one point in time was ahead of even LeBron in his development (or maybe that was just FIBA ball masking his defensive liabilities). And at #6 they have Allen Iverson. I loved to hate The Answer but HE WAS A FUCKING POINT GUARD! Also, I loved Jesus Shuttlesworth and I fucking hated Reggie Miller, but you can’t tell me Ray Allen had the better career. I don’t care whose coattails he rode to an NBA Championship.

Then we look at point guards. I scan down the list…..Magic, The Big O, Stockton, Curry…wait…Curry? Are you fucking serious? He’s not even the best point guard in the league RIGHT NOW. He’s the best player on the best team and he might not even be the MVP of that team this year (Draymond Green could make a case for it). And Steve Nash had some awesome years when he was at his best, but that was like a 7 or 8 year stint (his percentages were ridiculous) out of his 19-year career. And did he actually play defense?!?

As we realize these are all opinion-based I think it’s important to note that I think your opinions are shit, ESPN. I implore you to hire me for a like-minded article based on whatever the fuck you what me to write about and I will blow this dumb shit out of the water. What a dumb piece of shit attempt at getting hits on your already struggling page of lies. Why don’t you just start hiring CBS Sports rejects to write your articles. You can’t do much worse.


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