Land of the Free, Home of the Nipples

Miley seriously looks like Macaulay Culkin when he was 10.
Miley seriously looks like Macaulay Culkin when he was 10.

The most recent push to free nipples on various levels of media has gone to some pretty interesting lengths. Different celebs have taken to the streets to show the injustice of being forced to cover up while men walk around with the freedom to bare their chests’ without possible arrest. And why not? There was a time where bitch couldn’t be said on the radio (though we will be honest and also mention that the FCC didn’t realize what the word skeet meant, yikes) and that’s come and gone. Just watch any Law and Order: SVU episode ever. They go out of their way to use particular words the second they are deemed okay. But you can see asses on TV now, not ass cracks though (not sure how that makes sense).

Pretty sure they wouldn’t blur the top of a baby girl if she had her shirt off for whatever reason. But they will totally do it to a grown woman who may or may not be choosing to not wear a top. And there’s totally people out there that enjoy that shit. Just ask Jared from Subway. There will totally come a time when you can get away with anything. At least for now, there should be hot girls testing the nipple theory. I can’t think of the blonde model that’s been around the streets of New York City in recent months, but that’s a visual I can work with. Miley Cyrus on the other hand doesn’t work so well. She’s essentially a prepubescent boy walking around with her (his? Correct me Cait) shirt off looking for attention.

Let’s take this chance to use this platform to rid ourselves of body-shaming, mainly because we want to see some tit-tays. I mean, who are we kidding? I guess it’s nice when women are confident, but more importantly when they are hot and confident. Confidence only goes so far when you are showing off something that needs to be covered up rather than let loose.

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