Marriage Equality and Finger Accessories

ee942209f00958cd3314ea3908fe4aefAs different friends and family tie the knot and/or get engaged the very real possibility of my own life heading down that path really has crossed my mind. And yes, my girlfriend has also mentioned it a few times (a stop keeping track a while ago). But you see all these girls on social media and in the press showing off these big rocks that they are getting from guys. It’s nice. The opportunity to show someone how you really feel about them and just HOW MUCH you love them is something that inevitably comes down to money and just what you can afford.

But no one is thinking about what dudes have to deal with. The women will spend hours/days/maybe even years thinking of and perfecting every little aspect about their wedding only to defer to their father or husband to pay it off. But what if you’re in one of these 21st century relationships where the real breadwinner is the woman? Are roles reversed? Or does the guy and measly income have to step it up and buy some gaudy ring to show off to your best (jealous) friends and everyone else in the world?

Well whatever the case, and I’m plenty traditional myself, there has to be something said for just how crazy it is that guys aren’t given the option of a TV or gas grill or something else fucking awesome as a consolation for when homegirl gets her engagement ring and you blow your entire month’s (or life’s) pay on something that will be showcased on the finger of someone you hope to be with forever (assuming you’re not among the 60% of divorcees in the country today).

I’m not suggesting that anyone will ever want a man ring. The same way that ear rings were really only meant for girls, bros don’t want some flashy crap to risk losing while doing manly things. We just want our little slice of something great to feel like we are also in this for the long haul. It’s like Valentine’s Day or any other Hallmark holiday. Why do I have to show you that I love any more for this reason when I show you every other fucking day? And why is it just me? Maybe I want to post a picture of me next to the kegs of my favorite beer that you bought me to watch the game with a few of my closest friends to brag about how excited I am for a one-day celebration.

And I totally don’t want to sound cynical or non-traditional. There’s plenty of women that don’t want the kind of big, lavish, meaningful wedding that I will eventually have, but why can’t I have statement-making gift along with my sugar-icing cake and it too. By the way, if you invite me to a wedding any time soon and the icing is whipped then we will have problems. But there’s gotta be a time where the man stands up and is given something close to what he deserves in this world of inequality and injustices. So I urge men everywhere to start a movement for the equal opportunity of gift giving in the spirit of love and happiness and whatever other bullshit is spewed between wanting the biggest rock money can buy.

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