My Eyes Are Bleeding

No seriously, they are. I haven’t been able to see much of anything since I saw the recently leaked pictures of Kim Kardashian for Prada. Okay, I know it’s been like three weeks. But this still holds some weight and is worth discussing. Perhaps it’s the fact that we are discussing it at all that she did this in the first place. If that’s the only point of it, then good one on her part.

a4489217fdd025ca2f00e94d93ad10f3Still, more and more we see Kim doing anything and everything Kanye West tells her to do (including shut up when he made another ridiculously interruption at a music awards show). And good for Kanye for being proud of his wife. But it’s not like America hasn’t seen their fair share of the girl. In fact, the whole reason she’s seemingly relevant is because she showed everything. So how’s this much different?

Well, the pictures speak for themselves. And if these pictures were to talk, they’d be saying some not so flattering things of Mrs. Kim Kardashian-West. First of all, the chick goes full-frontal and has tons obviously doctored. The one thing that you’d think they would definitely make some changes to (her vag), is left untouched and looks far less than untouched. Further, Kim K’s derriere is shown in compromising positions that aren’t terribly flattering. And I’ll be the first to say as a lover of big butts, they seemingly went out of their way (Prada) to get some of those most awkward photos in the history of time.

I don’t know a lot about the intended subjected matter outside of Kim Kardashian, but wouldn’t you think actually wearing something might make some sense? Again, maybe it’s the masterful marketing effort that decided showing her with nothing on was better than leaving fully-clothed in Prada apparel. But men like a little mystery in their nudie mags. If I see everyone, then I can’t imagine anything and then it’s no fun. Unfortunately for Kim, we’ve already seen everything. Still, you’d think this mother of one (and potentially a few more) would be thinking about the artistic integrity of what their mom did when they are old enough to actually finding this shit on the internet.

Instead of trying to “break the internet” how about you try to break into being a fucking mother for once? Kim and Kanye are constantly doing appearances and shows and photoshoots, just reporting on this kind of shit takes of plenty of time from writers and paparazzi there’s no way they actually have time to be real parents. But good luck “not spoiling” your kid.

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