7 Things Bros Just Don’t Do When Texting

Do you text like a girl?

Who actually laughs out loud ever? Sure, every once in a while I may snicker loud enough when I see a text message that it makes me laugh loudly in the middle of a crowd. But what’s the point of LOL? It makes you sound like a fucking pre-pubescent teeny bopper with a 10 o’clock bed time

Emoticons are cute and thoughtful when you are in a long-term relationship. They are creepy and awkward when you’re just some dude texting the girl he just messaged on Tinder or exchanged numbers with at the bar. There is no excuse for making this kind of error in texting etiquette. Smiley faces are not a good idea.

Much like LOL’ing, rofl or lmfao (the worst group ever) are the lamest of lame expressions. Is anyone ever actually rolling on the floor laughing? No. They probably chuckled for a second and then wrote that because your friend is an attention-whore and wanted that kind of reaction.

There are many reasons for one to SMH, but can’t you judge people without using stupid terms like that? Case in point, there’s no lame expression to tell you how lame you are for using these terms so I’m writing it out like a normal fucking human being.

Girls giggle. Nelson Muntz had some variation of a haw-haw that never included e in the spelling. And yet there are actually dudes out that there  write hehehehe to let people know that they are laughing. Can you try to look any less like a man?

Getting excited about shit is whatever, but getting so excited you say OMG will scare any chance of getting laid away before you finish your episode of Real Housewives. There are tons of ways to react to something, but that just ain’t it.

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