Halloween is a time for running around in ridiculous costumes and having a good time with friends. Kids do a bit of the same, but their candy isn’t Fireball and Jaeger. But as we age their are harsh truths to the sadder aspect of this beloved holiday. Note: if you can avoid being anywhere near your home at the time of trick-or-treating then you’re doing yourself a favor. Last year, as noted prior, involved having adults come up on their own with or without costumes as well as with kids and ask for candy. I applaud you parents on your duty in fulfilling the responsibilities that are unto you when having kids, but that doesn’t mean you get candy out of it. Sure, be silly and dress up. Have at it. But don’t assume that you get anything out of the experience outside of seeing the smile on your kid’s face when they walk up to each new door.
This year was another journey into the unknown as we, along with several other neighbors, decided to avoid the people walking up to our door to solicit for candy. Our puppy just got neutered and doesn’t need to be jumping up and down on new people arriving at the door every 30 seconds. So we had a good excuse. Whatever. We were sitting with the lights on until too many people had prolonged knocks that just made things ridiculous. One father walked up to the door with his little girl to knock with no response only to leave huffing and puffing in an expletive-laden rant about how we needed to give him candy. Really? So we turned the lights out and people were still knocking on the door. Not sure why, but apparently trying to avoid them at all costs wasn’t enough.
The next day I walked out to find two missing pumpkins that were taken from our front stoop that each cost around 20 bucks. It’s not just the money but what the pumpkins represent as far as the trip to the farm and all the other bullshit that girls like. I saw a neighbor across the street that had been cooped up in his second story bedroom for the night with his fiancée and two dogs while waiting out the bombardment of candy-hungry visitors and he told me something interesting. Hearing noises from upstairs in his apartment he walked down to find people sticking their hands through the mail-box on the door to look inside. People were actually borderline criminal in their actions regarding the fun night for the kids. On top of that, he saw a large group of 20 or 30 adults and kids moving in one large hoard shouting ,”Get that one! It’s the biggest out here!” (referring to the larger of our two pumpkins). This was adults encouraging their kids to smash other peoples’ pumpkins out in front of their houses’ on their street! How ridiculous is that?!? Two days later every other pumpkin on the street has been smashed all over in bits and pieces littering the brick-paved sidewalks.
Next year I’m getting one of a couple of things: a new address, a vacation specifically for Halloween weekend, or a gun. I think the last one is best but we will see what happens. Imagine being happy and cheery for a holiday that isn’t about anyone other than the kids dressing up. It’s not even about the candy or the experience with parents and their children. It’s about the kids. Not saying these kids that were out had manners or anything else that would have made them less obnoxious without parents, but it’s safe to say that Halloween is no fun for adults when handing out candy to kids.