Take A Look, It’s In A Book

Aside from corner store boutiques and upscale expensive designers, virtually every department store and big retailer clothing store is attempting to sell customers on much more than just their clothes. Instead of selling books about clothes, many of these stores (the foremost being Urban Outfitters) take a chance on various media to boost sales. Below are 10 different examples of the ridiculous shit from Urban Outfitters that you can find whilst perusing the aisle not exactly looking to drop tons of money or looking for a gimmick/gag gift. Books are a big source of revenue, but there are a few other random items of note.

e02e0955d024d304cdce9fe59f8ab1b2Loop Dog Baggie Holder. Yeah, you heard that right. A bag container to hold the bags of shit from your dog. Not sure there’s much more description needed for this one.

Light My Fire Fork. While I appreciate The Doors reference, why would I want to spend 8 bucks on a fork to hold marshmallows when I can walk out back and using a fucking stick? Great idea guys. Best you had tons of people fighting you over that patent.

Earmark Pencil Pack. These pencils are sold at rate of $1.50 each. Pencils. Do kids even use pencils in school anymore? I barely remember how to write in cursive. Fuck a pencil. 9 bucks is a little much for something you will literally never use.

Just Ride. A book basically telling you how to ride a bike like you’re a little kid. Or a book for pedophiles. Who needs a book to tell them how to ride a bike? Then again,as has been proven by Lauren Conrad, anyone can write a book.

California Surfing and Climbing in the Fifties. Not that California Surfing and Climbing in 2014 sounds any better.

b6a15a462e9a87917840defa0cfb4de0Mahina Mermaid Merfin. Merman, MERMAN! But seriously. Why would you ever want one of these? And since when was something that was ever eco-friendly actually cheap? This shit is certainly not worth 100 dollars.

Make It Rain Confetti. And I get dumber for each and every new thing I see on here. Who wants to make it rain with fake dollar bills? That sounds more like a pity party than anything else.

6d5d1295fdfc3e014bade1f72f702a8fUnicorn Mask. Not only is there no clever name, but the product itself isn’t clever either. What is the point of having one these things? Didn’t know Urban Outfitters catered to Furries too.

Worry Stone. Apparently if you rubbed it on your thumb when you’re worried it relieves your pain. Sounds about as reliable as those lame silver energy bracelets. Some scientologist probably invented this shit.

Assorted Mustache Party Box. There’s no better way to get ready for a big night out than to throw on a fake mustache to further creep out every girl within a 10 foot radius. Sounds like a solid investment of 12 bucks to me!

 

 

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