If there ever were two movies that any bro would ever want to watch, it would be the two set to make their debuts in 2015. If you’re racking your brain trying to figure out what I’m talking about then I will just blurt it out. Entourage. Blue Mountain State. It would be tough to find two TV series that have done more to shape the bro you are today. And the popularity of these two shows, even after their end, is evident in how we bros live our lives’.
While we don’t know tons about the storyline and what exactly is expected to happen, we can go over what has happened and who we know is in the movie so far. Entourage chronicled the life movie megastar Vincent Chase for 8 seasons before coming to a somewhat abrupt ending. While Vinny’s life was interesting and all with the getting to fuck multiple chicks every episode and buying Maseratis for friends because he gave no fucks, but his friends are what made this show the most bro.
Victory!!! Have you ever heard someone yell that shit really loud after beating someone that sucks at life? If so, that bro totes stole it from Johnny Drama. He was the older, less successful, starving actor brother of Vinny Chase who was the group softy, house chef, and bro that made it okay to pamper yourself every now and then. And then there’s Turtle (whose real name in the show escapes me, though I remember when he admitted it to Alex and it was a joke, moving on). Everyone has that bro that wants to ride the coattails of excellence to fame and fortune but is also a fucking great friend and overall good dude. Well, it turns out when push comes to shove and you get old as fuck people decide to do something on their own. Turtle turned the tables and got his shit together. Banging Meadow Soprano was just the beginning. And finally, there was Eric Murphy. The best friend and manager that always wanted to make the big move. Regardless of whatever Eric was able to achieve over the years, the most important thing he ever did was find some way of bagging Sloan (and in real life, Nicky Hilton). Dude made being short no so lame for bros all over. Sure, he was largely the mama duck of the group and didn’t let go too often, but when he did he was a quality character (Also, I hate Seth Green for his character).
The proverbial cherry on top to the group of bros that you def looked up to, was also the one that very few bros that were fans of the show had in common. Ari Gold was married, already ridiculously successful, and blindly confident. You might think you are a dick with the kind of cocky attitude to make slam-pieces everywhere pass out from sweating you so much, but this bro was over the top. And yet, everyone loved the shit outta this guy. But yeah, he needed to be mentioned.
So the big screen version of this awesome series that was loosely based on the life of Mark Wahlberg (also the producer), is set to be epic. Who really knows what the hell will happen with Eric and Sloan (and whether they will have actually gotten married). And there has to be something funny going on with Turtle and Drama. I wonder what movie Vinny will be fake starring in that will eventually actually put in theaters (like The Great Gatsby) and if he will seriously be married. Yuck.
The following personalities, entertainers, actors, or whatever you want to call them are appearing in the movie: Mark Wahlberg, Billy Bob Thornton, Ronda Rousey, Gary Busey, Andra Petru (look her up, you’ll be glad you did), Dan Patrick, and Haley Joel Osment (weird). So it’s looking like an interesting cast so far, though there will surely be several big names added to make things interesting. Can’t wait.
The second half of the movie awesomeness comes from Blue Mountain State, which lasted 3 seasons on the Spike TV Network. This show was like a mix of Friday Night Lights and Animal House and was the perfect example of what being a bro is college is supposed to be like. It showed the life of football team members of a highly ranked squad (with several real and fictitious opponents) and showed a relatively honest take of what being a major college athlete is like. The three most consistent and awesome characters were the team captain and rabies-using linebacker bro Thad Castle, the slutty, one-track minded backup quarterback Alex Moran, and Alex’s best friend from high school who eventually became the team mascot, Sammy Cacciatore. Thad brought us several wonderful moments including the Bosnian sister Alex fucks, pocket pussy from Chernobyl, and the kind of self-involvement that bros and aspiring bros everywhere would be proud of. Moran did all he could do become a lifer at backup all while winning a bowl game, screwing everyone’s sister, and getting paid for sex (and now he’s on a soa opera). And finally, there’s Sammy who drew the short end of the stick genetically (especially because of his hot sister). Sammy put the original mascot to shame, found a hot country girl, and carved a decent life while picking up the junk that the football players left over (metaphorically anyways).
So far we know that the movie doesn’t have an original title, as Blue Mountain State: The Movie might suggest. However, the movie is being directed by Jay Chandrasekhar (of the famed Super Troopers, Beerfest, etc.). So the movie should stay up to the lofty standards of the TV show. There aren’t any flashy cameos that we’ve heard of so far, but there’s no reason to make this movie unless it’s going to be completely badass.
For all the bros of the world, I’d like to say that the expectations for this movie are high. But given what they have to work with it will be tough to come out with a shit product. This next fucking year needs to hurry up so we can see this movie!