The Biebs: Bro Or No?

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I get how you can find Justin Bieber annoying. He had that wavy, floppy, bull-dyke look for the longest time. He also sells millions of records and has a multi-million dollar empire. But look past that for a second. Do you hate Bobby Brown? Do you hate Chris Brown? Do you hate Clay Aiken? Ok, that was a joke. Hermaphrodites don’t count in this line of reasoning. But for serious, Bieber is the next great pop star in a long line of pop star fuck-ups that might endure some unfortunate public gaffes but will still bring the goods when making music is concerned.

It all comes down to haterade and the man driving the bitter bus. Who didn’t want to be a Backstreet Boy back in the day? If you aren’t raising your hand to that question, you sir, are an asshole and a liar. Sure there are young fans. And when I say young, I mean “she’s not a bitch one week out of the month yet” young. But there are also plenty of older fans. Fans that you or I would gladly take in the back of our van and leave in a well for months at a time while dancing around in women’s underwear. KIDDING! At least about the women’s underwear part. Anyways, look at all the tail he’s picked up since apparently being dumped by that little boy on Nickelodeon (Selena Gomez). He smashed a Victoria’s Secret model after the big fashion show on TV. This dude can obvi pull some quality.

Not that I condone the use of sizzzzzzurp (too many z’s?) but it does help his street cred. Or maybe it helps his collaborators street cred. Oh well, he’s got two “Lil’” rapper friends that he parties with and has been reportedly found smoking weed and whatever else these crazy youths do these days. He’s had his first big concert scare and has even been not so nice to paparazzi. There’s even talk of him being in fights in various parking lots. Not that it should scare anyone. Six-pack or not, he still weighs 150 soaking wet. But I’d take a scrappy little guy over a big slow homeboy any day.

By no means is Justin Bieber a modern day gangster, but then again neither is Rick Ross (prison guard before turning rapper). And so far he hasn’t done anything to garner the kind of attention that someone like Lindsay Lohan has (although he should totally do that once for the sake of it). Just by definition, Bieber is a bro. You might not be down with his music but he’s friends with Ludaaaaa (even though he’s basically just a B-list actor now), and he did collabs with Nicki Minaj, Big Sean, and is tight with Usher. I haven’t even mentioned the incidents while speeding in his Fisker. Who even knew what a Fisker was before Bieber?

His last album had a few songs closely resembling music icons Bob Marley and Michael Jackson. Then again, naming songs and finding things to write about is an art and is truly difficult. There aren’t that many words in the English language worth singing about. Although I would be curious to see what Eminem’s words book looks like. Okay, back on topic.

Justin Bieber has the confidence, the style, the physical fitness, and an impressive little black book of hotties. I think we can ignore his overuse of the word “swag” (though I may feel different if he’s still saying that shit in a few months). His music isn’t quite the words of Lupe Fiasco or Tupac Shakur. His voice might not be on par with Frank Sinatra or Freddie Mercury (Queen). But his songs are relevant, he’s a good looking dude, he almost always looks like he didn’t get dressed in the dark, and he’s here to stay whether you or I like it or not.

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