Within the last couple years yoga clubs and classes have become as well-attended as the actual gyms that generally house these people. Women and even some men participate in yoga and the other various types of mind-numbingly boring series of stretches and breathing techniques. But it isn’t so much the yoga itself that is enraging, though I admit just thinking about it is annoying (because I dislike hipsters- more on that later). It’s these damn pants that are worn to yoga, amazingly enough named yoga pants. I’m pretty sure if they had yoga pants for men they would be named broga pants and in reality we would only really refer to them as high-watered sweatpants that make me feel like I am in first grade (because that’s the last age that I am willing to admit to wearing those disgusting things).
But back to the issue at hand. These yoga pants have started an epidemic that does not seem to be slowing down. I get that most women aren’t comfortable in spandex or tiny shorts but yoga pants aren’t exactly designed to be terribly loose-fitting either. Most women look fairly attractive in yoga pants, however it’s the “I’m proud of the way I look” portion of the crowd that just doesn’t do it for me. I get that not everyone cares what I think, but you make yourself look bad. Isn’t it just best for everyone that you don’t show me everything when you bend over?
Honestly, I wouldn’t be upset if women wore spanx to yoga (spanx- elastic band for women to hide their fatty midsection). They might get a few more looks. And it’s different than women that wear spanx out at night and misrepresent themselves. When you are wearing such little clothing, as people do when they work out or quietly contort themselves with Enya playing in the background, it’s better to keep things to the imagination. That’s just another reason why the metro bro likes to keep the goods under wraps for a bit.
Lastly, if you wear yoga pants when you are doing anything BUT yoga you better have a damn good reason. Girls have gotten so lazy with their outfits that they regularly show up in public with yoga pants on. Again, the girls that look good in said pants (with makeup on, let’s be honest) aren’t ostracized and shouldn’t be. It’s the ones that say they wear them because their ass looks good. Honey, if you have as much from behind around your midsection as you do in front around you midsection, it’s not an ass. In other words, if you’re a dude wearing skinny jeans; we probably won’t be friends.