ETIQUETTE

That Guy: Who Mooches

Well, if you insist.

Well, if you insist.

Similar to That Guy who likes to prey upon old girlfriends or hookups and loves to stick around until the last minute at the bar to hit up the drunk girls, there’s always the friend that just loves to get shit for free. And who doesn’t love some free stuff (most evident in the video below). This bro is likable in just about every way. He’s not necessarily the charity case, but he will make you feel like it when it’s necessary. Even though you don’t have big bills to make it rain every night at the bar, somehow you’ve got extra funds to buy his drinks.

You’ve been boys for a while or maybe you just went through a serious time together as bros and you feel like the link is too real to just drop because the kid isn’t in a great place right now in life. Well everyone’s been on both sides of it. In college, I was the guy that had the money (albeit, not my own) to buy kegs and such. And for a good bit of time after college, I’ve been the guy that has needed some extra help or couldn’t afford to have the kind of fun most people like to enjoy.

It’s tough. No one likes to make money the issue, especially when it’s the only issue. But there’s a definite difference between asking a friend out for drinks knowing he can’t pay for anything and them either asking you out or asking to come along. When it’s a group thing it’s also a little easier to stomach paying for someone else’s drinks. Yet, there’s always that friend that wants the help and can’t reciprocate.

Growing up, I felt weird helping myself to a friend’s refrigerator much less taking liberties with shit and not offering to help out with stuff. Any time I stay with a friend for the weekend I buy them a meal or two and do whatever else I can to make sure they don’t think I’m just there for a place to stay. Then again, there’s always someone that likes to take advantage of the situation. Sure, having balls and telling them like it is sounds great in theory, but how many people like to treat their friends like that? It doesn’t matter that they are being treated like shit, it’s a matter of principle.

Having that friend that takes everything for granted only to make it all about them really pushes the envelope. Just offering to do something is enough. Most people won’t take anything, and I’m not much different. It’s the dudes that think they can come and go as they please without making much of an effort to give back. I once had a friend that lived with his grandmother and thought it was okay to show up with random girls at my house. Cockblocking isn’t a favorite pastime of mine, but neither is waking up the next morning to find people I don’t know passed out on my couch smelling like sex. Not cool bro. Helping out a brother when they need it is admirable. Becoming that guy’s go-to when he wants something that he can’t afford or make happen on his own is not acceptable.

Standard
RANDOM BUT RELATIVE

Heart On His Sleeve

This guy should never be allowed to procreate.

This guy should never be allowed to procreate.

Whether you think reality television should be extinct or not, you’ve got to appreciate characters that play a part well and make you believe it. Jax, from Vanderpump Rules, may just be the dumbest individual on TV in recent memory (save anyone ever on Rock of Love). Tom Sandoval doesn’t make it any easier as the most feminized male ever (dude seriously talks about makeup and skin accessories several time a day). But that’s what makes Jax so fucking hilarious. When it came out that he and Kristen had sex (several times), Jax just laughed it off and then blamed it on Tom for not satisfying his girlfriend. Baller.

What’s not so baller? Getting a girl’s name tattooed to your arm. Twice. The first mistake happened in a desperate attempt to get a girl, Stassi (who’s a huge bitch), to stay with him after cheating and such. Dude’s a model. What do you think is going to happen? Anyways, he gets her name on his bicep and then is perplexed when she isn’t thrilled.

One of the main reasons the show is anything but peaceful.

One of the main reasons the show is anything but peaceful.

Not sure how made up things are on the show, but being friends with Tom again is just pathetic on the latter’s behalf. Who wants to bet Jax has sex with Arianna before the show is off the air? God knows he won’t give a fuck. But moreover, this new season has seen Jax string along two girls (one living in Las Vegas at the time- and probably dating tons of other dudes) and still manage to tattoo a different girl’s name on his inner bicep yet again. Homeboy isn’t even exclusive with this chick and he does that shit? Pretty sure we are an episode away from seeing Jax dump Carmen. Better not get another flower tattoo, dude.

Anyways, whether it’s reality television or reality the moral of the story is that you don’t get a tattoo with someone’s name on it unless they are kin or def not going anywhere. And that Vanderpump Rules is relatively entertaining.

Standard